black t shirt
Don’t you just hate it when your best friend goes out to the Chinese groceries store two blocks away or to the apartment laundry in the basement and half an hour later comes with three telephone numbers and a dinner date with some hot guy when all you get is “not interested” signals even from guys you’d normally think of as straight “A” losers.
What about those women who never seem to remain single for more than three months? You know the ones who slip out of one rich dude’s arms into the life of another gorgeous humanitarian with the heart of gold? What is it that some women have over guys that the rest of us don’t have? What is their secret? What is that they do that makes guys want to be with them?
Their secret is that they let guys know that they are interested and available. While the rest of us are “playing hard to get” or throwing ourselves at anyone who happens to look our direction, these “hot” women know exactly what it is they want and don’t hesitate letting him know.
But how you might ask. How do I let a guy know I am into him without looking foolish if he is not into you? Most of us fold in when we see someone we’re interested in because we assume that they’re probably looking for someone young and drop dead gorgeous. But having worked with many singles over the years, I have almost come to the conclusion that “the better looking you are the more hard work you have to do”. No one will come near you unless you make it incredibly obvious that you want them to.
Apparently there are ways to say “I am available, just name the place and time” without looking desperate. YES!!! There are ways to stand out of a crowd and still retain your sense of “dignity”. It is called flirting.
Research has shown that there are certain qualities that make a woman stand out even without the high heels or the mini black dress. Guys we’re told have biological “sex” radars and can literally sense the “sexiest’ woman as soon as she sets foot in a room.
Incredible isn’t it? While we women are into getting to know him – his sign in the zodiac line up, his favourite colour, his deepest fear, his mother’s maiden name and all that kind of other stuff – men’s radars are in the air picking up signals from some hot mama who has just stepped into the room.
So, if you want to get him – and keep him – you apparently have to learn to speak his language. I have listed here the top five qualities that were volunteered by the men and confirmed by some “sexy” women. I have used all of them quite a few times and gotten 150% OVER-KILL. Even if they do not get you the man of your dreams – immediately – they will make your life a little more fab and dating truly a jungle game.
A woman with the sex appeal that oozes from every pore of her skin has got these qualities, apparently:
1. She looks like she is having fun. Being predictable and boring is a cardinal sin when it comes to dating – and all relationships. Whether we like it or not, people are very attracted to other people who look like they are enjoying themselves. A woman who isn’t afraid of life drags everyone with her. Men look at her and want a piece of “HER”.
Develop an upbeat and positive attitude and get in touch with and be aware of your own sexual energy. Beyond that, develop a fun and a child-like quality about you and share a bit of that with the rest of the world. A little “playful teasing” is one great way to arouse interest. When it’s obvious that you should start acting like a clingy bug instead just lean back as if you’ve got all the time in the world. This can take seduction to the next level…
2. She is confident but not self-absorbed to the extent that no one and nothing else matters but her. She is mindful of how she looks but not obsessed with her looks. In other words she is “hot”.
You do not have to be classically beautiful by societal standards to be inexplicably hot. It all has to do with the perception you have about yourself and all the ways in which you display yourself. Loving yourself in a healthy way is actually an important factor in convincing others that you are one hot mama.
3. She makes someone feel like they’re are the only person in the room who matters. She looks him in the eye, really listens, calls him by his name and focuses on what he is saying.
What more can I say, the eyes have it. Let your eyes peak deep into his soul and move him like he’s never been moved before. Use your fingers to draw attention to your eyes and to keep his gaze focused on you – and you alone. When the exchange is taking place in cramped conditions, simply touch your nose or gently rub your cheek while one finger points at either eye. Power gaze him down.
4. She touches a lot. When someone touches us, we like them even more. If you’re stingy with your affection others assume you are cold, hard to know – and uptight.
If you are already familiar with the the “mirroring” technique, add the “touch-anchoring” technique to it and he will never figure out why three weeks later he rubs his hands against his sleeves and still smells your perfume even when he has on a different deer hunting t shirt from the one he wore that “fate-full” night. This touching extends to touching yourself. Touch yourself to draw attention to your most flattering features – and when combined with looking at him in the eyes – Houston we have a problem!!!
5. She knows her body and is aware of it. I am talking body-talk. If you’ve been getting the looks but no action, you probably need tune up your body language; the way you walk, what you’re wearing and the vibes and waves you send.
Got the Dolly Parton cleavage going on try the “Oh! My God, you are hilarious” hand -over-boobs thingy whenever he says something funny. And laugh deeply so those “babies” hiccup like an earthquake rocking the Himalayas. And if you are Beyonce bootilcious, going to the lady’s room as often as you can is actually a good thing. Seductively turning with a swing and a sweeping glance that ends on your junkside and then rolling and bouncing what your mama gave you can wreak bloody havoc on even the most composed of them.
Flirting really is quite easy if you think of it as soft marketing and all it takes is the right attitude and a willingness to take a few risks and make things happen. Next time you are out and get the urge to flirt his pants off, literally, be impulsive and try something unpredictable and wildly interesting.
And hey, let me know how it goes…
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write by Jessica Reeder