I Am a Big Girl During Holidays

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Although I am residing in a small frame momentarily I am a “plus size” girl at heart. My love of food trumps shopping, sex, shoes and even Housewives of Beverly Hills reruns. Yes, I am admitting this out loud to free myself of the shame. So as you can imagine this time of year is like watching a parade of naughty food porn that tempts me at every event. I must taste everything sweet that is presented to me, I am going to get through this. Most people are crazed with purchasing presents for their loved ones and finding the perfect gift during Christmas, but not me. I am experiencing a unique holiday buzz just thinking about all of the beautiful foods I am about to encounter. Like a little child too excited to sleep on Christmas Eve because Santa is about to deliver all of the gifts that have been on their lists for a year, I too feel this way before each holiday party.

Yes, I may loathe and feel bad about my lack of self discipline at this time of year, but I will recover my food balance and surrender to this beautiful season.

I need to remind myself that the holiday season is about family, our higher power, connection, gratitude and patience as I walk slowly by the holiday candy displays that are placed front and center in all of my grocery stores. Just seeing these displays brings my cart and I to a halt as we enjoy the viewing of all of my beloved sweets decorated so cheerfully for the holiday.

The M&M`s are festively colored bright green and red forcing me to release a slight “awwwe, should I get some?” Then I notice the darling little holiday wrappers that are embodying the Tootsie Rolls and quickly turn my attention to them. Unable to resist they are thrust into my cart immediately as I justify to myself that they are basically fat-free so they really don`t count as junk food. Then I experience a moment of sanity and realize that I only came into the store for more milk and chicken. Filled with guilt I quickly look around to see if anyone was watching my weak candy battle moment before I move on. No, I have happily gone unnoticed.

Happy Holiday.

“Life is a big canvas, so throw all the paint on it you can.”

(B.A. Kipfer)

write by Guinevere

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